thoughts on Magic Mike

So I went to see Magic Mike today. I saw it with a group of several women for a bachelorette party, which was definitely the way to see it, I think. The theater was packed, primarily also with large groups of women; I'm guessing there were less than ten men in the whole theater, if not less than five. "Last summer there was Bridesmaids, this summer there's Magic Mike!" I exclaimed before we left for the movie. "It's so cool how there's a bachelorette movie, like, every summer!"

The verdict: it was pretty darn good, and in fact, better than it had any right to be or really needed to be. Like, I'm sure no one would have complained if the strip club scenes had been the only good parts in the movie, but it actually had a pretty decent storyline about Channing Tatum's character, Mike, bringing a nineteen-year-old into the stripping business while making moves to get out of it himself. Also, I liked Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey quite a bit. I really didn't know who Channing Tatum even was until a few months ago, when a group of us talked about seeing The Vow but never did, then actually did see 21 Jump Street, in which he was surprisingly funny and unsurprisingly good-looking ("Science and magic are the SAME THING!"). Then I read an article about how he really was a male stripper back in the day and proceeded to begin looking forward to seeing Magic Mike. He's a great dancer, and again, that's all he would have really needed to be for this movie, but he's also, as I previously observed, quite funny and charming.

As for McConaughey, he is, as he has always been, very good-looking but also kind of skeevy, which works better here than it has ever worked before. He does the "Alright alright alright!" thing he always does. He plays the bongos shirtless, as he has been known to do. He often is onstage wearing very little besides leather pants and a cowboy hat, though at one point he instead wears an Uncle Sam hat. When we see his house, it turns out he has a portrait of himself wearing the leather pants and cowboy hat with a snake around his neck, as well as a bust of himself. This is good stuff, people.

And, if the movie is true to life, it seems that male stripping is pretty weird business. Like, watching it is humorous in a way that I don't think female stripping probably would be, yet I would imagine it's similar in that it's difficult to get out of it and start doing something legitimate and that (for many people, at least) there's a lot of drinking and drugs involved. There's probably more that could be said there, but I'll leave it at that and just say that I had a good time.

thoughts on Rock of Ages

So. Rock of Ages has been getting pretty mixed reviews, and I guess I can see why. I'm not sure how well it holds up *as a story*. The basic plot is that a girl named Sherrie (Julianne Hough) moves to LA to try to make it as a singer. She winds up meeting a guy named Drew (Diego Boneta) who also wants to be a singer; he gets her a job waiting tables at a club called the Bourbon Room. Meanwhile,the mayor's wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is trying to find any reason at all to shut down the Bourbon Room; she may get her opportunity, because the owner (Alec Baldwin) owes a ton of money in back taxes, and is counting on a big show by legendary rockstar Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) to make him the money he needs to keep the club open. The movie is all put together a little weirdly, for lack of a better word; like, the movie centers around Sherrie and Drew and the mistakes they make on their way to fame/falling in love, yet Stacee Jaxx is by far the most compelling character, and Tom Cruise's performance is by far the most fun. There are also subplots involving why Catherine Zeta-Jones's character is so anti-the Bourbon Room; the relationship between Alec Baldwin's and Russell Brand's characters; and a romance between Stacee Jaxx and a Rolling Stone reporter played by Malin Akerman. I haven't seen the Broadway musical on which this was based, but I'm thinking that the story in it was probably rather thin, they tried to beef it up for the movie, and it didn't quite work.

In other words, the movie wasn't perfect. However, make no mistake: I had a great time.

I must say, Tom Cruise is the main reason for this. Like, Stacee Jaxx is both intense and kind of crazy, and he drinks a lot, and basically every woman he meets throws herself at him, and Tom Cruise is, I kid you not, GREAT in this role. He kind of blew my mind. Like, when he's not onscreen, it's a fairly pleasant if somewhat silly little movie: Sherrie is singing "Sister Christian" with a bus full of strangers as she travels to LA, and then they're cutting back and forth between Drew belting out "Jukebox Hero" in a record store and Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand singing "I Love Rock and Roll" in Alec Baldwin's office, and at one point Catherine Zeta-Jones and a bunch of '80s moms are singing "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" in a church with some seriously goofy choreography going on, and again, all of this is pretty fun and entertaining, and the songs are good, but it's nothing surprising or overly memorable. Then Tom Cruise shows up all passed out in bed with like three different women, and he's wearing assless chaps, and he has a monkey named Hey Man, and he's talking about burning the Bourbon Room down so that the fire phoenix can get out or some such nonsense, and no one can tell whether he's crazy or what but everyone tiptoes around him and sucks up to him because he's a big star. THEN!!! the Rolling Stone journalist asks him what it's like to be Stacee Jaxx, and he responds by busting into "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi, and he's REALLY GOOD, and I literally think to myself, "I cannot believe this is happening right now." And then I kind of have to go to the bathroom, but I think to myself, "I'm going to wait until Tom Cruise isn't onscreen anymore, because there's no way I'm missing even a second of this."

So, that's what it comes down to, I guess: the parts without Tom Cruise are entertaining and feature some great '80s songs, but aren't spectacular. The parts with Tom Cruise are ridiculously awesome. Like, his performance alone is worth the price of admission.

thoughts on the premiere of the Dallas reboot

So. I don't really remember the original Dallas. Watching the premiere tonight, I recongized the theme song, as well as the actors who played J.R., Sue Ellen, and Bobby. And, of course, I'm aware of some of the major storylines from the original series, like the "Who shot J.R.?" cliffhanger and the whole thing with a whole season of the show turning out to be a dream. Though I wasn't overly familiar with the original, I thought the reboot looked fun. Prime time soaps are pretty much my favorite, and there aren't too many good ones around right now.

Here's the basic plot: John Ross (J.R.'s son) and Elena, his girlfriend and coworker, who is the daughter of one of the Ewing's employees-- a cook or a maid or something?-- strike oil on South Fork Ranch. They want to drill, but J.R. and Bobby's mother stipulated in her will that no one would ever drill on South Fork; Bobby wants to honor this. Additionally, Bobby's adopted son, Christopher (who is played by Jesse Metcalfe from Desperate Housewives, and who occasionally walks around in his underwear just 'cause) feels like he needs to earn the Ewing name and is working to develop an alternative energy source. Bobby wants to sell South Fork Ranch to the Del Sol Conservancy, supposedly so John Ross can't drill for oil, but also because he secretly has cancer and is afraid of what his brother and nephew will do to the ranch once he's gone. J.R. secretly has a deal with Marta del Sol to buy the ranch back from her after the sale goes through...only Marta might not be who she seems. Also causing tension is the fact that Christopher comes home with his fiancee, Rebecca (who he marries in this first episode), only he's still in love with John Ross's girlfriend, Elena, who he was once engaged to. Elena told John Ross that she broke up with Christopher, but in reality, she received an e-mail from Christopher on the night before their wedding saying that they were from two different worlds and that he couldn't go through with it. However, Elena learns in this episode that Christopher didn't send the e-mail. She assumes that John Ross did, and breaks up with him, only we get confirmation late in the episode that he didn't send the e-mail, either. Also, it is revealed that Rebecca is a con artist, though it seems that she might actually have real feelings for Christopher.

John Ross is the best character, I think, or at any rate, the most complex. Like, at one point I said out loud, "John Ross is a DOUCHE!," yet just a few minutes later I found myself feeling sorry for him. He also comes across as kind of dumb, yet this seems to be at least partly an act, since he pulls off some fairly complicated business in this episode. Rebecca also becomes interesting once we find out she is a con artist, and I like Elena, too; I think what's going on with her is that she's torn between her working class roots and her ambition, which is also why she's torn between Christopher and John Ross. Christopher, Bobby, and J.R. aren't as interesting so far; Christopher and Bobby come across as just a little too good, and J.R. seems to be just pure evil, though I assume all of those things might change over time. J.R.'s ex-wife, Sue Ellen, and Bobby's wife, Anne, haven't been given a lot to do so far, though Sue Ellen seems pretty badass.

Anyway, I enjoyed it. The premiere was actually over two hours long, which felt a little long, yet it mostly kept me interested; like, in the beginning I was kind of doing other stuff while I watched, like walking back and forth between my living room and bedroom to put laundry away, but after awhile I found myself wanting to stay where I was and see what happened. I gasped out loud multiple times, and sometimes said, "What?!" I consider all of those things good. Anyway, I think it should make for some fun summer viewing.

thoughts on The Five Year Engagement (spoilers)

1) Previews: I'm only going to talk about one, and that is That's My Boy, starring Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg, which I was first appalled by when I went to see American Reunion a few weeks back. The premise of this movie is that at age thirteen, Adam Sandler's character had sex with a teacher and got her pregnant. She went to jail, and he raised the son by himself. He did such a bad job that the kid left home at age eighteen and never spoke to him again, but now Adam Sandler owes money to the IRS and he hears his kid is now rich, so he looks him up. As he spends time with his now-grown son (Andy Samberg), we learn about all the mistakes he made as a father. Okay. First of all: why are they making a COMEDY about a thirteen-year-old sleeping with his teacher? Second, I'm pretty sure that the courts would not give custody of a baby to a thirteen-year-old kid, even if that kid was the baby's father. Third, even if they did, he would have to be the biggest jackass in the world to do some of the things that we learn that Adam Sandler did while raising this kid, such as letting him drive a car at age eight and get a large tattoo of New Kids on the Block on his back while he was in the third grade. "I was thirteen!" Adam Sandler defends himself in the preview. Um, he would have been in his early twenties by the time much of this stuff went down, and people in their early twenties have children LITERALLY EVERY DAY. Many of them do a perfectly good job. For that matter, thirteen-year-olds are sometimes left in charge of small children for short periods of time and manage to keep them safe and not let them do anything stupid. GOD. This looks like it may just be the worst movie ever made.

2) Okay, now that I've gotten that out of my system-- The Five Year Engagement. This movie is terrible, everyone, which was very disappointing, because I really like both Jason Segel and Emily Blunt. The premise of this movie is that San Francisco couple Tom and Violet (played by Segel and Blunt) get engaged, but then keep deciding to put off the wedding. Violet gets offered a post-doctoral fellowship at the University of Michigan that is supposed to last only two years, but it keeps getting extended. Tom moves to Michigan with her; he's a promising chef who is offered a super sweet job just before he leaves San Francisco, but in Ann Arbor, he can only find a job making sandwiches at Zingerman's. Meanwhile, as Violet's job/their engagement stretches out longer and longer, Violet's sister, Suzie (Alison Brie) and Tom's best friend, Alex (Chris Pratt) meet, get married, and have two kids, and grandparent after grandparent dies.

Here's what's wrong with this movie: the characters don't really even try to solve their problems. Like, Tom applies for jobs at restaurants all over Ann Arbor when they first move there (some of which I've eaten at, by the way!), but can only come up with the job at Zingerman's. I can buy that this would happen at first...but wouldn't, if you were Tom, you keep applying? I know the economy's rough, and all, but you would think he would eventually be able to find a better job. He eventually, after their relationship disintegrates and he moves back to San Francisco, opens a food truck selling what are apparently awesome tacos; he couldn't have thought of that in all the years he lived in Michigan? Also, he is obviously MISERABLE the entire time they are in Michigan, and Violet doesn't seem to give a rat's ass. Like, I know firsthand that academic jobs are hard to come by and that you wouldn't just give up a sweet job at the University of Michigan with no back-up plan, but if your fiance was that miserable, then you would certainly be applyiing other places, or at the very least, not condescendingly telling him that he should be happy with his "cool job" at Zingerman's (which I hear is a very good place, by the way, but Tom is clearly capable of doing more than making sandwiches). And Tom seems to take all the blame for everything that goes wrong! Like, after they've broken up, they talk on the phone, and he asks her when she knew it was over. She acts like they broke up because he just randomly went crazy, and not because he was misterable and NEITHER OF THEM was trying to fix it, at all.

There is also the issue that many scenes that start off funny or cute last too long, to the point where I felt uncomfortable. For example: Alex sings a song in Spanish to Suzie at their wedding and is surprisingly good. This is entertaining for maybe thirty seconds. IT JUST KEEPS GOING ON AND ON. There is also a scene where Violet and Suzie are arguing, and Suzie's young daughter requests that Violet talk like Cookie Monster and Suzie talk like Elmo. Again: mildly amusing for a few lines. But this argument just KEEPS GOING ON with both of them talking in Muppet voices, and it's hard to understand what they're saying, and it gets really grating really fast.

Finally, I hate it when people in movies (or people in real life, for that matter) move from the big city to a smaller but pefectly nice town and act like they're in the total backwoods (this was my irritation with Young Adult, as well, though I liked that movie a lot better than this one). I visited Ann Arbor a number of times when I was living in Bowling Green, Ohio, and I thought it was great. Does it snow there? Of course. Would Tom have the same opportunities as a chef that he would have in San Francisco? Of course not. But there's not really a good reason that he would be as miserable there as he is, and the movie doesn't really give us one.

Really the only thing I liked about this movie was Alison Brie and Chris Pratt as Suzie and Alex. That is literally the only thing. Well, and I kind of liked that a lot of it took place in Ann Arbor. But that's pretty much it.

Three movies, one week!: thoughts on The Lucky One, 21 Jump Street, and Cabin in the Woods

I saw three movies last week, folks. Three! They were all movies that I might not have picked out on my own, but was invited to see with friends. I wound up having a pretty good time at all of them. Here are my thoughts:

The Lucky One
Zac Efron plays a Marine named Logan. While in battle, he finds a picture of a young woman sticking out of the rubble; he will later describe this experience as "like finding an angel in the middle of hell." He keeps this picture with him, and after he goes home, finding it difficult to adjust to life with his sister and her family in Colorado, he sets off to find the woman in the picture. There is a lighthouse in the background of her picture, and he finds out where that lighthouse is and takes off for Louisiana. Finding her isn't difficult, but when he does, he can't find the words to tell her why he's there. Fortunately, she runs a dog training/boarding facility with her grandmother, and she thinks that he has come to respond to a Help Wanted ad. Although she is actually a little creeped out by him-- particularly by the fact that he tells her that he has walked there from Colorado-- her grandmother hires him, and needless to say, she eventually warms up to him. Complications arise in the form of her young son, or more specifically, his father, who is constantly showing up to act menacing and threaten to take full custody if she (Beth) messes up. His family is a Big Deal in their Louisiana town, and he says he can make it happen. And of course, lurking around the edges of the film is the fact that Logan still hasn't told her why he's really there, though we begin to realize, as the story moves forward, why the picture was there for Logan to find.

It really isn't a bad little movie, you guys. I've read a few Nicholas Sparks books (though not this one) and seen the movies adapted from them, and they're usually fairly solid-- though someone usually dies, and I therefore spent most of this movie whispering stuff to my friends like, "Do you think Beth's ex-husband is going to murder Zac Efron?," and, "Do you think the kid is going to die in the water?" (Actually, we were the only four people in the theater, so I really didn't even have to whisper these things.) I don't think this movie will develop the following that The Notebook had, or anything (true story: a few years back when I asked my students to write a movie review about literally any movie in the world they wanted, roughly 20% of them chose The Notebook. A fairly even mix of girls and guys. I'm serious), but it was fairly enjoyable. I liked Blythe Danner as Beth's grandmother, and Zac Efron pretty much always does a solid job; like, even in those High School Musical movies (High School Musical 3 isn't bad, by the way), you can tell he's pretty game for anything, and giving it his all. I'll respect that. Anyway, I won't say this movie is for everyone, but if you like Nicholas Sparks and/or Zac Efron, give it a whirl.

21 Jump Street
This is probably my favorite of the movies I saw last week, you guys. Like, I never really watched the original TV series 21 Jump Street; when it was on, I was too young for it, I think. I was aware that it existed, but didn't watch it more than once or twice. However, I am fairly sure that it was not an R-rated comedy, or a comedy at all. The movie works as an R-rated comedy.

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum play guys who went to the same high school, but weren't friends back then. Channing Tatum was a popular "dumb jock," while Jonah Hill was a nerdy kid who dyed his hair like Eminem; when he asks a girl to prom, she literally laughs in his face (high school kids are so mean in the movies. In real life, would that girl go to prom with him? No. Would she laugh in his face? Probably also no). As adults, they both go through police training together, and become friends when Channing Tatum needs help passing his exams. They later become bike cops, but mess up their first major bust because Channing Tatum can't remember the Miranda rights. They are then assigned to go undercover at a high school, where they are suprised to find that things have changed. Channing Tatum (whose name is Jenko in this movie, apparently, though he spends most of his time undercover, so I'll just keep referring to him as Channing Tatum) assumes that he'll be popular again, but now all of the popular kids are "all into going green and being tolerant and stuff." They like Jonah Hill, though, who gets the lead in Peter Pan and "sabotages" a school track meet.

It's funny, everyone. I laughed out loud throughout. I don't have a ton to say about it, but I had a good time.

Cabin in the Woods
I don't think I can even write about this without giving stuff away. All I can really say is that it starts with a group of college kids who appear to be the typical "types" from your average teen horror movie (the "slut," the virgin, the jock, etc.) heading off for a weekend in a creepy cabin, but right from the beginning, there are twists. It is simultaneously very aware of, and willing to poke fun at, horror movie conventions while still employing many of them. One friend (hi, Amy!) described it as "like Scream, but with monsters," and I guess that's pretty accurate, though I like the Scream movies better because there *isn't* anything supernatural in them, and because they include lots of actors from TV shows that I like. Anyway, I thought it was okay. Many of the people who I went with were big horror movie fans, and they loved it; I appreciated that it was sort of clever, and I enjoyed that Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford were in it, but it wasn't my favorite thing ever.

I maybe shouldn't have tried to review three movies at once. I feel like I kind of ran out of steam with that one. Oh, well.

thoughts on Titanic 3D

So after yesterday's half-marathon festivities, I met up with a few friends to see Titanic in Imax 3D. I saw Titanic twice in the theater when it first came out, and I know that I owned it on VHS at one point, but before yesterday's viewing, I hadn't seen it for ten-fifteen years. I read one disparaging review of the movie upon its rerelease that indicated that it might not hold up for those of us who liked the movie as teens, but I've got to say, I still think it's a pretty solid movie.

For one thing, I'm impressed now in a way that I wasn't as a teen by the fact that it must have taken *a lot* of work to make this movie; I don't know a lot about the making of it, but the effects in the scenes where the ship was sinking were very impressive, so I've gotta respect that. Also, I remember when I saw the movie as a teen that I was less interested in the scenes where the ship was sinking than the rest of the movie because I was mainly just into the love story. However, this time around, I was really struck by the utter chaos that breaks out once the ship starts sinking, especially as the situation gets more and more dire: the utter disregard for the people in steerage; the futile attempts to maintain order, or an appearance of order, until it's absolutely impossible to do so; the fact that eventually it seems like people are pulling out guns left and right. It also struck me just how many mistakes had to be made for 1) the Titanic to sink and 2) its sinking to be as big of a disaster as it was. I'm sitting there all, "No! You don't need to go faster!," and, "Ahh! There aren't enough lifeboats!," and, "No! Why are you only putting twelve people in a boat for sixty-five?"

Other random thoughts: I remembered that Victor Garber was in this, but I didn't really even remember who he played, and certainly not that he had a slight Irish accent. After this viewing, I would definitely rank him in my top five favorite things about the movie. Also, while I remembered that Rose's fiance was a jerk, I did not remember just how crazy things get with him. He's chasing Jack and Rose with a gun at one point! And he just grabs some random kid and pretends she's his to get onto a lifeboat! Also, there were things that I didn't realize I remembered until I saw them: for example, when Jack is handcuffed and Rose is looking for a key, I'm all, "Doesn't this ship have an emergency axe somewhere? Oh! It does! That's actually what happens!"

Anyway, bottom line is, I enjoyed it quite a bit. You'll notice that I haven't even mentioned the 3D; that's because the 3D aspect of it wasn't all that impressive, and I don't really care for 3D that much as a whole. I don't hate it like Roger Ebert hates it, or anything, but I just haven't seen it used all that effectively, and it kind of gives me a headache. I don't think 3D really added a lot to Titanic, and I think if they needed an excuse to rerelease the movie in theaters, the 100th anniversary of the Titanic's sinking would have been as good of one as any. Nevertheless, it didn't really hurt my viewing experience. I had a good time.

thoughts on American Reunion

So, I have kind of a soft spot for the American Pie movies. Remember what a big deal it was when the first one came out? I was twenty, I think, home from college for the summer and working as a temp; I went to see it with a friend from work after hearing how awesome it was from many people. I later went to see American Pie 2 and American Wedding; neither of them were particularly memorable-- like, I can remember the basic plot of both, but few really funny or awesome moments. Well, no, wait, there was a pretty funny dance-off scene in American Wedding. But anyway, I still have good feelings toward the series as a whole, so obviously I was going to see American Reunion.

For one thing, I enjoy seeing casts that I like reunited; like, the first Sex and the City movie didn't even come out that long after the show ended, and I remember sitting there in the theater thinking how happy I was to see everyone again. I felt the same way when I saw Scream 4. I think there's something about thinking that a series is over, then getting to catch up with the characters again. Like, I heard that there is a Sweet Valley High novel that catches up with the Wakefield twins as adults, and I totally plan to read it.

Anyway. American Reunion catches up with the gang as they return home for their thirteen-year reunion. Yes, thirteen. Their school didn't get around to having a ten-year reunion. This made me giggle. Jim and Michelle are married with a two-year-old. Oz is a sportscaster and appeared on a Dancing with the Stars-type show. Kevin is married and an architect. Paul Finch is supposedly a world traveler. Stifler is a temp. The plot involves Jim and Michelle trying to recapture the "spark" in their marriage whilst Jim is constantly being hit on by a girl he used to baby-sit; Jim trying to convince his widowed father to start dating again; Oz and Heather realizing they still have feelings for each other; Kevin having conflicted feelings about Vicky even though he loves his wife; etc. There are lots of parties and drinking. There are also lots of reminders of stuff that happened in the original movie (like the whole school seeing the video of Jim and Nadia), and lots of stuff that is similar to stuff that happens in the original movie; for example, there is a scene where Jim has to try to sneak the girl he used to baby-sit (Kara), who has gotten drunk, stripped naked, and then passed out in his car, into her house while the rest of the guys distract her parents. I thought to myself, "Oh, YEAH, there was always a part like this in those movies!" There is some grossness here and there. There is also lots of awesome nineties music and funny references to advances in technology that have happened since the first movie; like, Stifler's big plan for distracting Kara's parents is to knock on the door, say that their car broke down, and ask if he can use their phone to call Triple A. Kara's dad: "Um, none of you guys have cell phones?" Stifler to Oz: "The last time I tried this, cell phones hadn't been invented yet!" Oh! And the guys get into a little war with some high school kids, which is pretty funny.

So, basically, if you liked the first movies, I'd recommend seeing it. I'm not sure if it would have much appeal for people who hadn't seen the first ones, though there are some funny moments. There was this forty-something couple in the theater when I saw it who seemed to be enjoying *the heck* out of it; like during the closing credits, they show a bunch of pictures of stuff that happened in the first three movies, and at one point the guy was all, "Oh, do you REMEMBER that, from the second one? With the TROMBONE?"

Also: they showed a preview for a movie with Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg that I'm sorry to say looks like it's going to be the worst movie of all time. I really like Andy Samberg, but it looks HORRIBLE.

That's all.