thoughts on Rock of Ages

So. Rock of Ages has been getting pretty mixed reviews, and I guess I can see why. I'm not sure how well it holds up *as a story*. The basic plot is that a girl named Sherrie (Julianne Hough) moves to LA to try to make it as a singer. She winds up meeting a guy named Drew (Diego Boneta) who also wants to be a singer; he gets her a job waiting tables at a club called the Bourbon Room. Meanwhile,the mayor's wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is trying to find any reason at all to shut down the Bourbon Room; she may get her opportunity, because the owner (Alec Baldwin) owes a ton of money in back taxes, and is counting on a big show by legendary rockstar Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) to make him the money he needs to keep the club open. The movie is all put together a little weirdly, for lack of a better word; like, the movie centers around Sherrie and Drew and the mistakes they make on their way to fame/falling in love, yet Stacee Jaxx is by far the most compelling character, and Tom Cruise's performance is by far the most fun. There are also subplots involving why Catherine Zeta-Jones's character is so anti-the Bourbon Room; the relationship between Alec Baldwin's and Russell Brand's characters; and a romance between Stacee Jaxx and a Rolling Stone reporter played by Malin Akerman. I haven't seen the Broadway musical on which this was based, but I'm thinking that the story in it was probably rather thin, they tried to beef it up for the movie, and it didn't quite work.

In other words, the movie wasn't perfect. However, make no mistake: I had a great time.

I must say, Tom Cruise is the main reason for this. Like, Stacee Jaxx is both intense and kind of crazy, and he drinks a lot, and basically every woman he meets throws herself at him, and Tom Cruise is, I kid you not, GREAT in this role. He kind of blew my mind. Like, when he's not onscreen, it's a fairly pleasant if somewhat silly little movie: Sherrie is singing "Sister Christian" with a bus full of strangers as she travels to LA, and then they're cutting back and forth between Drew belting out "Jukebox Hero" in a record store and Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand singing "I Love Rock and Roll" in Alec Baldwin's office, and at one point Catherine Zeta-Jones and a bunch of '80s moms are singing "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" in a church with some seriously goofy choreography going on, and again, all of this is pretty fun and entertaining, and the songs are good, but it's nothing surprising or overly memorable. Then Tom Cruise shows up all passed out in bed with like three different women, and he's wearing assless chaps, and he has a monkey named Hey Man, and he's talking about burning the Bourbon Room down so that the fire phoenix can get out or some such nonsense, and no one can tell whether he's crazy or what but everyone tiptoes around him and sucks up to him because he's a big star. THEN!!! the Rolling Stone journalist asks him what it's like to be Stacee Jaxx, and he responds by busting into "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi, and he's REALLY GOOD, and I literally think to myself, "I cannot believe this is happening right now." And then I kind of have to go to the bathroom, but I think to myself, "I'm going to wait until Tom Cruise isn't onscreen anymore, because there's no way I'm missing even a second of this."

So, that's what it comes down to, I guess: the parts without Tom Cruise are entertaining and feature some great '80s songs, but aren't spectacular. The parts with Tom Cruise are ridiculously awesome. Like, his performance alone is worth the price of admission.