thoughts on Rock of Ages

So. Rock of Ages has been getting pretty mixed reviews, and I guess I can see why. I'm not sure how well it holds up *as a story*. The basic plot is that a girl named Sherrie (Julianne Hough) moves to LA to try to make it as a singer. She winds up meeting a guy named Drew (Diego Boneta) who also wants to be a singer; he gets her a job waiting tables at a club called the Bourbon Room. Meanwhile,the mayor's wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is trying to find any reason at all to shut down the Bourbon Room; she may get her opportunity, because the owner (Alec Baldwin) owes a ton of money in back taxes, and is counting on a big show by legendary rockstar Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) to make him the money he needs to keep the club open. The movie is all put together a little weirdly, for lack of a better word; like, the movie centers around Sherrie and Drew and the mistakes they make on their way to fame/falling in love, yet Stacee Jaxx is by far the most compelling character, and Tom Cruise's performance is by far the most fun. There are also subplots involving why Catherine Zeta-Jones's character is so anti-the Bourbon Room; the relationship between Alec Baldwin's and Russell Brand's characters; and a romance between Stacee Jaxx and a Rolling Stone reporter played by Malin Akerman. I haven't seen the Broadway musical on which this was based, but I'm thinking that the story in it was probably rather thin, they tried to beef it up for the movie, and it didn't quite work.

In other words, the movie wasn't perfect. However, make no mistake: I had a great time.

I must say, Tom Cruise is the main reason for this. Like, Stacee Jaxx is both intense and kind of crazy, and he drinks a lot, and basically every woman he meets throws herself at him, and Tom Cruise is, I kid you not, GREAT in this role. He kind of blew my mind. Like, when he's not onscreen, it's a fairly pleasant if somewhat silly little movie: Sherrie is singing "Sister Christian" with a bus full of strangers as she travels to LA, and then they're cutting back and forth between Drew belting out "Jukebox Hero" in a record store and Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand singing "I Love Rock and Roll" in Alec Baldwin's office, and at one point Catherine Zeta-Jones and a bunch of '80s moms are singing "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" in a church with some seriously goofy choreography going on, and again, all of this is pretty fun and entertaining, and the songs are good, but it's nothing surprising or overly memorable. Then Tom Cruise shows up all passed out in bed with like three different women, and he's wearing assless chaps, and he has a monkey named Hey Man, and he's talking about burning the Bourbon Room down so that the fire phoenix can get out or some such nonsense, and no one can tell whether he's crazy or what but everyone tiptoes around him and sucks up to him because he's a big star. THEN!!! the Rolling Stone journalist asks him what it's like to be Stacee Jaxx, and he responds by busting into "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi, and he's REALLY GOOD, and I literally think to myself, "I cannot believe this is happening right now." And then I kind of have to go to the bathroom, but I think to myself, "I'm going to wait until Tom Cruise isn't onscreen anymore, because there's no way I'm missing even a second of this."

So, that's what it comes down to, I guess: the parts without Tom Cruise are entertaining and feature some great '80s songs, but aren't spectacular. The parts with Tom Cruise are ridiculously awesome. Like, his performance alone is worth the price of admission.

thoughts on the premiere of the Dallas reboot

So. I don't really remember the original Dallas. Watching the premiere tonight, I recongized the theme song, as well as the actors who played J.R., Sue Ellen, and Bobby. And, of course, I'm aware of some of the major storylines from the original series, like the "Who shot J.R.?" cliffhanger and the whole thing with a whole season of the show turning out to be a dream. Though I wasn't overly familiar with the original, I thought the reboot looked fun. Prime time soaps are pretty much my favorite, and there aren't too many good ones around right now.

Here's the basic plot: John Ross (J.R.'s son) and Elena, his girlfriend and coworker, who is the daughter of one of the Ewing's employees-- a cook or a maid or something?-- strike oil on South Fork Ranch. They want to drill, but J.R. and Bobby's mother stipulated in her will that no one would ever drill on South Fork; Bobby wants to honor this. Additionally, Bobby's adopted son, Christopher (who is played by Jesse Metcalfe from Desperate Housewives, and who occasionally walks around in his underwear just 'cause) feels like he needs to earn the Ewing name and is working to develop an alternative energy source. Bobby wants to sell South Fork Ranch to the Del Sol Conservancy, supposedly so John Ross can't drill for oil, but also because he secretly has cancer and is afraid of what his brother and nephew will do to the ranch once he's gone. J.R. secretly has a deal with Marta del Sol to buy the ranch back from her after the sale goes through...only Marta might not be who she seems. Also causing tension is the fact that Christopher comes home with his fiancee, Rebecca (who he marries in this first episode), only he's still in love with John Ross's girlfriend, Elena, who he was once engaged to. Elena told John Ross that she broke up with Christopher, but in reality, she received an e-mail from Christopher on the night before their wedding saying that they were from two different worlds and that he couldn't go through with it. However, Elena learns in this episode that Christopher didn't send the e-mail. She assumes that John Ross did, and breaks up with him, only we get confirmation late in the episode that he didn't send the e-mail, either. Also, it is revealed that Rebecca is a con artist, though it seems that she might actually have real feelings for Christopher.

John Ross is the best character, I think, or at any rate, the most complex. Like, at one point I said out loud, "John Ross is a DOUCHE!," yet just a few minutes later I found myself feeling sorry for him. He also comes across as kind of dumb, yet this seems to be at least partly an act, since he pulls off some fairly complicated business in this episode. Rebecca also becomes interesting once we find out she is a con artist, and I like Elena, too; I think what's going on with her is that she's torn between her working class roots and her ambition, which is also why she's torn between Christopher and John Ross. Christopher, Bobby, and J.R. aren't as interesting so far; Christopher and Bobby come across as just a little too good, and J.R. seems to be just pure evil, though I assume all of those things might change over time. J.R.'s ex-wife, Sue Ellen, and Bobby's wife, Anne, haven't been given a lot to do so far, though Sue Ellen seems pretty badass.

Anyway, I enjoyed it. The premiere was actually over two hours long, which felt a little long, yet it mostly kept me interested; like, in the beginning I was kind of doing other stuff while I watched, like walking back and forth between my living room and bedroom to put laundry away, but after awhile I found myself wanting to stay where I was and see what happened. I gasped out loud multiple times, and sometimes said, "What?!" I consider all of those things good. Anyway, I think it should make for some fun summer viewing.