thoughts on Sex Education (spoilers; frank discussion of scene involving sexual assault)

Asa Butterfield stars as Otis Milburn, a British teen whose mother Jean (Gillian Anderson) is a sex therapist.  Though both single and a virgin at the beginning of the series, he becomes known as “sex kid” at his school and begins, with the help of his classmate Maeve (Emma Mackey) charging his classmates for sex advice.  Over the course of the two seasons, he helps his classmates navigate their relationships while beginning to explore his own.  We also get a look at Jean’s love life as she, after years of eschewing relationships in favor of one night stands (who Otis has gotten used to running into in the bathroom in his mother’s yellow bathrobe), begins an unlikely romance with a plumber named Jakob (Mikael Persbrandt).

I don’t know if teens really are having as much sex as the teens on this show are.  I do know that these particular teens seem incredibly responsible and mature about sex, being vigilant about condom use and seeking help on and working through issues that would make even some adults call it quits.  The relationships—both the teens’ and the adults’—are so real that it is painful to watch at times.  Jean confesses to Jakob that she kissed her ex-husband, and they break up.  When she later asks forgiveness, he tells her that she isn’t ready for the type of intimacy he needs.  She cries as soon as she is out the door.  Your heart breaks for her.  Sometimes, there is drama the likes of which is rarely seen in real life; people make drunken speeches where they tell people what they REALLY think of them and jump onstage during plays to make declarations.  Sometimes it’s too much like real life; sometimes it’s how you wish real life was.  It always is compelling, interesting television where you genuinely feel for most of the characters.

One particularly interesting storyline comes when Aimee (Aimee Lou Wood) experiences a sexual assault on a bus.  A man masturbates and ejaculates on the leg of her jeans; she is upset enough to get off of the bus and walk the rest of the way to school.  She seems flippant about the encounter when she tells her friend Maeve about it, primarily concerned that her jeans might be ruined.  Maeve has to explain to her that what she has experienced was a sexual assault and that she needs to report it to the police.  Though Aimee doesn’t understand the experience as sexual assault and is initially resistant to the idea of reporting it, she is nonetheless traumatized by it, avoiding the bus; thinking that she sees the man everywhere; and finding herself unable to enjoy sex with her boyfriend.  It provides a compelling look at the ways in which women are inclined to brush off such experiences as no big deal even as they have a serious impact on their ability to conduct their daily lives.

As a whole, it is both an entertaining and thought-provoking show.  A third season has been announced for 2021; I don’t think I’m the only one who can’t wait.

thoughts on Miss Americana (spoilers)

It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I'm a huge fan of Taylor Swift, though it took me a little while to come around on her when she first started.  Miss Americana, the recent Netflix documentary, takes us through Swift's career from the beginning, stopping at key moments to dig a little deeper and to get some commentary from Swift.  She says very early on that her guiding principle has always been wanting people to think she is good at what she does.  She is clearly very driven, motivated, talented, and has a support network that was dedicated to helping her develop that talent (her parents moved with her to Nashville when she was young so that she could pursue her music career).  As she has grown older, Swift has seemed to gain some perspective on how fragile basing your life on that guiding principle is.  

Looking back on the incident when Kanye interrupted her VMA acceptance speech, Swift says that when the crowd started booing, she, in the moment, thought that they were booing her.  She says that when your whole "moral code" (she uses that phrase more than once, even though I'm not sure that's what I would call it; I would call it more a sense of self or a personal ethos) is based around wanting people to like you, having a whole roomful of people booing is your worst nightmare.  On the one hand, anyone who is any sort of high achiever and largely bases their worth on achieving their goals can relate, and can think of points where they've been devastated at a failure or perceived failure.  On the other hand, when you're a performer, everything you do is so much more public and so much more closely scrutinized.  You can see where maybe you'd have to get to a point where you rethought how much you needed everyone to like you just to survive.

The film is largely about how Swift has learned to do that.  Two key points that come up are her struggle with disordered eating and her recent decision to become politically active after spending years avoiding talking about her political views.  She says that she has had to learn the hard way that she feels much better and has much more energy in her shows when she isn't starving herself, but that that means having to learn not to care so much when, say, a tabloid reports that she looks pregnant based on an unflattering photo. Politically, she says she was warned from very early on that she didn't want to get "Dixie Chicked" based on the backlash the Dixie Chicks received when lead singer Natalie Maines spoke out against then-president George W. Bush.  We see advisors warning her when she wants to speak out against a Tennessee senatorial candidate who has a record of supporting anti-woman and anti-LGBTQ policies; one even asks her if she would be okay with half as many people coming to her shows.  She says in frustration that it has begun to feel hypocritical to get onstage all, "Happy Pride Month!" if she isn't willing to actually DO anything.  She ultimately does release a statement in support of the candidate of her choice.  She has had to learn to let go of her need to be liked by everyone in order to be healthy and live her values.

What the film is, then, is the story of how a high-achieving young woman who is prone to people-pleasing has established a career and learned to do things more on her own terms.  I thought it explained a lot about her.  It was relatable, yet also shed light on how someone who has achieved that level of success has a different mindset and different priorities than the average person (even the average high-achieving person).